Friday, August 30, 2013

The Reason

What if there really is a reason that relationship never worked?

You know, the one you're sure you were made for each other. You tried to get them to like you, to love you the way you want, to care and to make you their one and only, you were friends, best friends but nothing more. And you began to think it was your fault. Maybe if you just changed, they would see you as more. 

But what if it's not you? 

Have you ever thought maybe the LORD protected you? You tried to throw yourself into a relationship but imagine it''s the LORD that kept you apart. Not because you're not worth it, but because He has something better? 

What if instead of doubting who you are because that special someone never really love you or asked you to marry you, you thank the LORD for saving you from the scars of broken relationship/marriage? 

It's hard, but we should thankfully submit to His plan, because it's so much better than our greatest dreams for ourselves.

Shahlohm..

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

The Only Marriage

In a world where sex sells and divorce rates are at an all time high, I told my bf the other day that we will, "Show them how it's done", speaking of being in relationship for almost 10 months and staying together and in love, that we will not get divorced if the LORD allows us to get married someday.

Sadly, a lot of people look at young married couples or newlyweds and think, this is only their first marriage..

NO, it is supposed to be your only marriage! 

If you are getting ready to marry someone with the mindset that you can always divorce if it doesn't work out, then please save yourself the heartache and don't do it! 

True love is real, it does still exist, ladies. And any woman or man who tells you the love dies, don't listen to them. Marriage is a responsibility and it takes work from both ends. But more than that, it takes the LORD being the center of the relationship.

And that is why it is so important to pray and make sure you are marrying the right person before you do it. Always keep the LORD number one, pray that the love for the LORD and your spouse stays alive and make it work! It's a beautiful thing and worth waiting for!

Shahlohm..

Saturday, August 24, 2013

How To Love A Woman

"You may not be her first, her last, or her only.
She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters?

She's not perfect- you aren't either, and the two of you may never be perfect together, but if she can make you laugh; cause you to think twice; and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can.

She may not be thinking about you every second of the day,but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart.

So don't hurt her, don't change her, don't analyze and don't expect more than she can give.

Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she's not there."

Bob Marley 

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Emotional Needs

I found this article this morning and thought I will share it here with you guys.. 

Last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. As our passion began to heat up she said, “I don’t feel like it. I just want you to hold me.”
I said, “WHAT?! What was that?!”
She said, “You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.”
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, “Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?” Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The next day I took off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big department store. I walked around with her as she tried on several very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we’d just buy them all.
She wanted new shoes to go with her new clothes, so I said, “Lets get a pair for each outfit.” We went on to the jewelry counter where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. She was so excited. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet. I threw her for a loop when I said, “That’s fine, honey.” She was nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, “I think this is all dear, let’s go to the cashier.”
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, “No baby, I don’t feel like it.”
Her face went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, “WHAT?” I said, “Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.”
Just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, “Why can’t you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?”

Moral of the story: Appreciate people's feelings. It may not mean anything to you, but it surely mean a lot to them.

Shahlohm..

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

The Power of Patience

Deep down, we know that waiting and having patience is a good thing. But just because something is good for us, it doesn't mean that we want it. That’s especially true when, in order to develop patience, it means we’ll be involved in long-term, character testing, faith-walking, endurance-stretching waiting. Not too many of us want to do that just because it’s “good” for us!

Please read, glean through, and apply what the LORD personally shows you.

The apostle Paul tells us that patience is one of the fruits of the Spirit. In other words, patience is a byproduct of the LORD's work within us. He describes it as ‘long-suffering’ (Galatians 5:22), a word that, according to Webster’s dictionary, means ‘long and patient enduring of trouble, or provocation.


Can you think of a marriage/relationship that doesn't require ‘long-suffering’? The truth is, we can’t have patience without the waiting. But just because we’re waiting doesn't necessarily mean we have patience. It’s HOW we wait in marriage/relationship that’s most important. Do we wait with a good attitude?

Grow your faith. Patience means working on growing deeper in your relationship with the LORD, especially when it appears that the only thing growing deeper in your life is the divide between you and your spouse. Patience means remembering that it could be worse [except in cases of abuse], and deliberately looking for the good in the other person.

Patience means expressing the positive when you want to point out the negative. It’s deciding to overlook some irritating things and, instead, think about the eternal future set before you. This means knowing that because you didn’t divorce when you considered it, but determined to be patient instead, your whole family can now celebrate holidays and birthdays and life together.

The most important reason of all to pursue patience is that it’s one of the LORD's attributes. When we’re patient, we’re more like him. The apostle James writes that the testing of our faith produces patience, and patience perfects us and makes us complete so that we lack nothing (James 1:2-4). So each time you find yourself in a situation where you have to make yourself pursue patience, try to think about how godlike you’re becoming. The Father would be proud!


Shahlohm..

Sunday, August 4, 2013

How to Tell if Your Boyfriend Is Cheating

A cheating boyfriend is something we all worry about. Not everyone cheats. From time to time, these worries are unfounded. 

Perhaps he really does have to work late, or sleep all day, or the strange girl in his bedroom truly is his sister, or the new female friend he just met is really 'just' a friend but here are some sure signals to find a cheating significant other. Everyone in the world thinks everyone is cheating. 


Ask yourself before you put yourself through all this stuff. Does he really love you and if the answer is yes, then he is not cheating and all these signs are from typical lying fools and you should spend your day thinking of all the positives things he does for you and how much he loves you. 


Because not everyone cheats.


1. Pay attention to a change in his normal routine. Is he, for instance, coming home from work later than usual on some nights? Sometimes these small changes to a person's routine mean nothing more than life has given them a reason to be unavailable, but they are still something that you want to be aware of.


2. Does he allow you to touch, or look through their phone, emails, etc? If your bf/gf is hiding their phone from you, or deleting all their messages before letting you have it, then there is probably something they don't want you to see.


3. Notice if he leaves the room to take calls. If you ask who called/texted him, does he always tell you "It's nobody?" These are also important signals, which like number 2, show that your fiance, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc. has something to hide.


4. Has he seemed to become moody all of a sudden, and eager to start fights? Sometimes, a cheating lover will displace his shame, anger, and guilt onto you by starting a fight, which can then be blamed on you. In short, he needs a place to throw off their negative feelings.


5. Has your bf stopped talking to you? Did your significant other always have things to say, and has suddenly become very distant? Your relationship may be losing intimacy because your lover has started a new one with someone else.


6. Notice if a bf is constantly putting someone else down. He may be saying awful things about that person, but pay attention to the fact that he is still talking about them 24/7. He i trying to fool you into believing that the person is undesirable, thus throwing the suspicion off of them.


7. Pay attention to changing interests, including music, political views, social issues, favorite books, or movies, etc. When someone spends enough time with someone else, they begin to adopt their views, or at least understand them. If your boyfriend is interested in things that he hated before, perhaps he is being influenced by someone else more than usual.


8. Have his friends begun to act oddly around you? When you casually talk to his friends, do they seem anxious, nervous, or eager to leave? They probably know something you don't know.


9. Does he smell different when he comes near you? Everyone knows this one is very cliche, but it's also true. If he's coming around smelling like a perfume that you don't wear, then he's been too close with someone who wears it.


10. Does he seem to be very angry when you come over unannounced, or only text you when they are at home, never calling you? These are also signs of a between-the-sheets betrayal. For some reason, he doesn't want you at his home at certain times, and he doesn't seem to want to call you while he's at home. Suspicious, eh?


11. Catch him in a lie. Casually ask a bf where he was such and such day, and let him answer. Remember his answer, and ask again a few days later. If he is lying constantly, then he will have a hard time keeping up. He may start to get angry at these simple questions, another big hint.


12. Watch for unexplained bills, receipts for meals, etc. bought for two people. If you keep finding receipts from McDonalds with 2 different meals on it, or 2 sodas in the cupholders, or a bill for a bracelet you didn't get, then watch out.


13. Pay attention to whether he has to "clean up" before letting you into his house, room, or car. If an earring is lying in the passenger side of his car, or a condom is behind their bed, extra time will probably be taken to dispose of those items.


14. Does he have other email accounts, or other online accounts? Or begin to, out of nowhere, change his passwords to keep you out of their accounts? Normally, if he didn't give you their password to start with, this is no problem. But if he has suddenly changed it to protect messages he has written, or chats he has had, you should be aware.


15. And lastly, notice whether he begins to buy you gifts out of nowhere, or he starts casually mentioning an end to your relationship. Questions such as, "What would you do if we broke up," are key hints. Men and women, both, become guilty. This guilt can easily be forgotten with an action/item for the other person, that makes the cheater seem selfless.


16. Watch his emotions he will sometimes show the guilt in his face expression what he get home or he will come home late and try to say he is "working" long hours.



Tips: 
  • Always fall for your type, meaning falling for someone who understands you better, who's got the same interest and whom you share values with is best than to fall for someone you hardly understand. Relationships is about sharing, and understanding one another in all ways.
  • Go with your gut. Without even realizing it, your brain will pick up on some of these subtle changes in your bf/gf, and to keep you from being emotionally harmed, it will begin to rationalize them. If all the signs are there, don't let yourself be fooled.
  • Lastly, finding a cheater for what they really are is never a happy experience. It hurts to have been lied to, and takes a chunk out of your self-confidence. Take heart in the fact that women and men, alike, have had to deal with this since the dawn of time. It is better, however, to find out now and cut ties with the cheater rather than to remain faithful to someone who cannot return the favor.
  • Pay attention to the influences in your mate's life. Do their sisters, brothers, parents, etc. cheat, or have cheated? This is definitely not a solid lead to a cheater, but even so, this type of behavior influences peoples' beliefs.
  • First off, know that these tips individually are not always a sign of doom. Sometimes a guy just leaves his phone off and doesn't text back, or a girl is with her friends; it happens. However, if you have a reason to doubt the other person, and more than one of these signs is showing up, then maybe more investigative work is in order.
  • Try to be with someone with whom you are the age, and have somewhat the same personality type. I'm not saying that opposites don't attract, but it is definitely easier to please one another when you like the same things.
  • Be discreet when trying to catch a cheater. If you let them know you're onto them, they'll hide the situation completely. Your best bet is to catch them slipping up.
  • Sometimes, cheaters are just cheaters. People can be very self-absorbed with a lack of concern for others, and with no desire to change themselves. Try to keep these kinds of people out of your life.
  • Also, just know the person. Know their personality, and how they acted before they started dating you. Were they flirtatious before you? Have they cheated before? How many people have they dated or slept with? Some people would never cheat, and others hardly notice they're doing it. It helps to know what kind of person your significant other is.
  • If he/she is cheating, throw them out of your life. Enjoy your life and be glad that you found out.
  • Have your friends help you scope out the situation. If you feel that there is a difference in your significant other, then maybe your friends have noticed it too, and can help you find out why. Especially if they have classes with him; they can watch for sketchy behavior.
  • Your man looking at other women could also be a sign that he's cheating on you.
  • Pay attention to the time he comes home...Test him by watching where he comes inside from what place...If u didnt c him come inside and he shows up...He was already inside testing you...

WARNING:

  • A liar can convince you to stop trusting your gut when you bring things up. A liar can convince you that you're just being paranoid and that these suspicions are all normal. Just keep that in mind before you ask why your partner has to run away for a phone call.
  • If your partner is cheating, chances are they're not opposed to lying as well. If you ask them about signs you've seen, and those signs stop showing up, your partner is likely covering up everything you've noticed before.
I hope this points will help us all.. ;)

Shahlohm.. 

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Something The LORD Has Taught Me

Something the LORD has taught me from a young age, I want to pass along to you. You need to know that there is the LORD who loves you passionately, and romantically. 

He took your death upon His shoulders on that cross, just so He could be with you forever. So often we forsake this love, so often we run away as Gomer did, we want the things of this world, but what if we really took grasp of this sweet, gentle whisper of our Savior? Would we really want any other lovers? I do not believe that we would. 

He longs to perfect us in the beauty of His son. He loves you like no other lover can. He is crazy about you. He wants to pour his heart on you, romance you, woo you, protect you, whisper sweet things to you, cuddle you. He is our best friend. I am thankful to have known a love so true as Jesus', and I want you to know that love as well.

Shahlohm..