About Forgiving

Forgiveness is simply not about declaring it to people you are angry with. But it is a journey.

God ask us to forgive our friends, family, or even people we don't know well for what they have done that hurt us. When we hurt, the negative feelings (such as sad, angry, rejection) create a place in our heart, and stay there. The question is, how to wipe off these feelings? There are quick answers that we would have in mind, in example "forgive the one(s) who hurt you", "time will heal", or the best answer might be "God will heal"

Sure, God will heal, time will heal, and by forgiving, heart will be healed by itself.

The thing is it won't happen in a clap.

Forgiveness is a journey. And I believe, God knows and will not force us to give our forgiveness right away because we are human and we have limitation.

We also cannot ask God to give a forgiveness heart if we still keep the hurts inside. We need to let go the hurts, which we have to realize that God did not put them in our hearts at the first place.

Work with God everyday. If it is too hard to forgive, simply ask for happiness. And actually, we do not have to ask, just open our hearts, because God give happiness in various forms into our lives everyday. We just need to accept it. In Math, if we keep add positive numbers to negative ones, at some point the negative numbers will change to positive.

We might cannot get rid off the hurts or hate easily. But by adding happiness and love in our hearts, little by little everyday, hurts and hate will be vanished. And when they're gone, we find that we have forgiven the one(s) who gave the hurts.

Again, it won't happen in a clap. It's a long journey. We can assess this journey every once in a while, just so we know where we stand in the journey. If we still can feel the hurts, we know that we have not reached the end of the journey.

Not to forget, there are people on the other side. Sometimes it makes it harder when we are hurt by someone, but still has to work everyday with this someone, or see their update status on Facebook or Twitter everyday. Sometimes, distance makes it easier to heal ourselves and forgive.

Of course, some great people can work this out. But when we realize that the hurts are still growing when we're with the source, it is not wrong to take distance. In this case, we can try to build a healthier relationship again with the source of our hurts in order to assess our hearts. If we can still feel the hurts, we might consider to step back again, and work with our own hearts, as I stated above.

Is it a self-centered way? Some people might find that it is a self-centered way. But again, how can we love, if we are not fulfilled with love?
Oh by the way, I forgive you. Yes you!