1. Be nice. This is very simple, but it works. Even when you feel bad, or have a beef with each other, or are tense or tired, make the effort to be kind and gentle with each other. Make the marriage a safe harbor where the other person wants to be. This means taking a breath, biting your tongue and going easy even when that's not exactly how you feel.
2. Before you get married, find common ground on your most important issues -- where you want to live, the role work plays in your family balance, how you will handle your finances, whether or not you want children (and if you are older, what lengths you will go to to have biological ones), the degree to which your extended family are involved in your lives, and what role religion will play in your lives and the lives of your children.
3. Stay flexible, in every sense of the word. That means finding a compromise between his need to watch the game and your need get the house clean. It means finding ways to discipline the kids that both of you can live with. It means communicating, it means nothing is set in stone, other than your core values, which you should discuss and share before you ever get married.
MORE TO COME....
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